You know how we propel toward our goals one micro-step at a time? With the help of Roger Federer and science-backed research, learn how we unknowingly give up on life’s gifts and self-sabotage ourselves – one micro-step at a time – when we incrementally succumb to inconveniences, challenges, and disappointments.
A few weeks ago, legendary tennis champion Roger Federer gave the commencement address at Dartmouth. He eloquently and modestly shared his system at maintaining his grit in sports and in life. For good reason, it went viral. Here is a small excerpt from the entire speech: click here.
In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. Guess what percentage of points I won in those matches? Only 54%.
When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. It’s only a point. Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN’s Top 10 playlist, that, too, is just a point.
Here’s why I’m telling you this. Whatever game you play in life, it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs. Success comes to people who are able to adapt to the moment. Holding onto the past only weighs us down, sabotaging the incredible gifts waiting for us right now.
a slightly silly, kinda serious suburban tale…
From yard games to entrepreneurship, one of the pillars of happiness in Steve’s and my 38-year journey has been our commitment to constantly challenging ourselves and each other.
With Federer’s speech fresh in my mind, I’d like to share this little anecdote. It may seem off topic, but there is a point (pun intended).
Being from the Midwest, Steve and I have always enjoyed playing cornhole. While we’ve never played “officially”, we’ve always been able to hold our own. Last week, we played for the first time this summer with Luke and Jess. Though they were new to the game, they smoked us. It was the first time Steve and I had played in a year, so we laughed it off. Privately, I was a little surprised Steve and I could not get our cornhole mojo together.
I almost just laughed it off, but then Federer’s words echoed: It’s only a point. It wasn’t about losing a silly backyard game. It was a test of my willingness to adapt. It was a hand-eye coordination thing. The next day, I researched proper cornhole form and asked Steve to practice with me. In less than 30 minutes, we were back to our ole’ competitive (ish) selves…
My takeaway: You know how we discuss how mini steps lead to our goals? This experience revealed how we incrementally give up on life’s gifts – one step at a time – each time we succumb to inconveniences, challenges, and disappointments.
Sound overly dramatic? According to Science UNESCO research on neuroplasticity, genetics is a minimal aging component compared to how humans can unknowingly age themselves.
- We stop asking “Why?” or “How can I do this better?” We settle for “that’s just how it is” instead of seeking improvement or understanding new things, closing ourselves off from growth.
- We cling to old methods out of comfort, not effectiveness. Refusing to adapt to new technologies, processes, or even healthier routines because “that’s how we’ve always done it” is a form of mental stagnation.
- We rationalize setbacks as inevitable decline. Instead of seeing a dip in performance (memory, energy, skill) as a temporary challenge to learn from, we resign ourselves to it as an unavoidable part of “getting older.”
- We narrow our interests and stop seeking novelty. When we stop exploring new ideas, hobbies, or experiences, our world shrinks, and we lose the mental stimulation that keeps us adaptable and vibrant.
- We disengage from problems that feel “too hard.” Opting for passivity over trying to understand complex issues or contribute to solutions leads to feeling out of touch and irrelevant, accelerating the feeling of being “past our prime.”
Roger’s 54% win rate and a backyard game turnaround are powerful reminders. Life is a constant stream of “points.” It’s our willingness to accept losses, not dwell on them, and continuously adjust our strategy—whether in sports, work, or personal growth—that keeps us vibrant and truly “young” in spirit. To stop learning and readjusting incrementally not only keeps us from our goals, it dims the spark of life itself, inhibits success, and gives in to our self-sabotaging narrative of “aging”.
Life is both beautiful and brutal. It’s naive to think we won’t face injury, illness, or loss. We gotta prepare for it and fight back. With a resilient mindset and a team of friends and family cheering us on, navigating life becomes much easier and more rewarding.
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